I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
