no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
