Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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