I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
