operation harelip BJ is a go
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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