His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
