Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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