Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
