bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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