I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
