Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
