my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize