i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
