I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
