we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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