Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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