Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
