That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
