can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize