Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
