I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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