I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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