Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
