he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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