what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
