I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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