I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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