The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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