the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
