She is in my trunk
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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