i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
