the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
