I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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