My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
