ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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