i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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