I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My liver just had a heart attack.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
