Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
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You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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