no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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