oh god the rape fog is back!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
