update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
