I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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