Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just cut my nipple shaving
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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