we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
