Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
