My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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