i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
