would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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