Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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