so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
