Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
