the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
