great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
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My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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