i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Enjoy the penises
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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