I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
