is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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