Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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