does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.