I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.