I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
