I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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