well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
