"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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