I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
