I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you traded sex for a burrito?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
